"Just because it can connect to the internet doesn't mean it should."

My dishwasher died last week. Mid-cycle, no warning - just a puddle on the kitchen floor and a error code nobody could decipher without Googling.

No drama. Appliances break. You clean up, you go shopping, you move on. I figured I'd have a new one ordered within an hour.

Instead, I spent an entire evening down a rabbit hole that genuinely rattled me.

I started where most people start - filtering by price, brand, and energy rating. But as I clicked through model after model, something felt off. The feature lists kept mentioning "Wi-Fi connectivity" and "companion app." Not as extras. As requirements. One mid-range model I liked had a sleek front panel with… nothing on it. No buttons. No dials. No display. Just a flat slab of stainless steel. The entire interface lived inside a phone app.

I kept scrolling. Most models had a basic touch panel hidden inside the door - enough to start a cycle and show a countdown. But the advanced features? The eco modes, the delayed start, the temperature controls? All locked behind the app. Every single app required sign-up. Every single one needed an internet connection to function. No server, no app. No app, no features.

Let me say that again: you could be standing right in front of the machine, touching its actual panel, and still not access what you paid for - because a server on the other side of the world decided whether your dishwasher app was allowed to work today.

These models require you to hand over your personal information, agree to a privacy policy, and opt into marketing emails - you can unsubscribe of course, but it's opt-out, not opt-in. All to wash dishes. And if the manufacturer decides they don't want to support that model anymore? They turn the server off, and you lose half your features overnight.

I sat back and actually laughed. Then I got annoyed. Then I started writing this email.

They swapped buttons for inconvenience

Here's what gets me. A dishwasher is something you physically stand in front of. You open it. You load it. You close it. You're right there.

And somehow, the industry decided the best way to start a wash cycle is to pull out your phone, open an app, wait for it to connect, and tap a button on a screen - while standing next to the machine that used to have a perfectly good button of its own.

The supposed benefit? Clearer error codes. A notification when the cycle finishes. Maybe some usage stats nobody asked for. In exchange, you hand over: - a permanent Wi-Fi connection in your kitchen - an app with an account, a password, and a privacy policy - a dependency on a cloud service you don't control

For a dishwasher.

Features held at ransom

What really got under my skin wasn't the Wi-Fi itself. It was realising how many of these machines lock basic features behind the app.

Not bonus features. Not "smart extras." Core functionality. Want to adjust the temperature? Open the app. Want to use the eco cycle? You need the app. Want to delay the start so it runs on off-peak power? App.

Some of these devices won't even run properly if they can't phone home. Your internet drops out, and suddenly a machine you paid good money for just… sits there.

We've quietly crossed a line. It used to be "smart features are a bonus." Now it's "basic functionality requires an internet connection."

And it's not just dishwashers:

• Projectors now ship with ads built into the operating system
• Samsung has experimented with advertisements on connected fridges
• Robot vacuums send maps of your home to cloud servers
• Smart TVs track everything you watch and sell that data

You paid full price for these products. Often the premium price. And they're still monetising you after the sale.

The cyberpunk future nobody asked for

Some of you might remember the email I wrote last year about the nurse whose smart bed got stuck upright during a cloud outage. At the time, it felt like a cautionary tale. Now I'm living a mild version of it - standing in a store, being told I need to download an app to wash my plates.

There's a word for this, and it's not "innovation."

When your fridge shows you ads, when your projector upsells you a subscription, when your dishwasher refuses to run without cloud access - that's not a smarter home. That's a home that works for someone else.

Every connected device is: - another thing on your network that could be compromised - another account with credentials to manage - another company collecting data about your daily habits - another service that could be discontinued, bricked, or paywalled

And when the internet goes down? Some of these devices simply stop working.

What I'm actually doing about it

For our replacement dishwasher, I'm specifically searching for one with: - physical buttons - no Wi-Fi requirement - no app dependency

They still exist. You just have to look harder, which is part of the problem.

More broadly, I apply a simple test to any appliance purchase now:

"Will this still work in 10 years if the company shuts down its servers?"

If the answer is no, or even "maybe not"... I keep looking.

Voting with your wallet

This is one of those rare security issues where the best defence isn't technical. It's economic.

• Buy dumb where dumb works. A dishwasher doesn't need Wi-Fi. A toaster doesn't need Bluetooth. Not everything needs to be smart.
• Read the fine print before buying. Check whether features require an app or internet connection. If they do, decide whether that trade-off is worth it.
• Reward companies that respect boundaries. Some manufacturers still build appliances that just… work. Support them.
• If you must buy smart, isolate it. Put IoT devices on a separate network. Don't give your fridge access to the same Wi-Fi as your laptop.

Every purchase is a vote. When we keep buying products that spy on us, companies hear "keep going." When we don't, they notice.

The takeaway this week

Not every "upgrade" is an improvement. Sometimes the most secure, most reliable, most respectful option is the one with a row of buttons and no Wi-Fi antenna.

Your home should work for you - not report back to a company about how you live in it.

Stay safe out there,
Mat C

P.S. If you've found good "dumb" appliances that just work well, reply and tell me. I'm genuinely building a list - and I know I'm not the only one looking.

P.P.S. Speaking of companies harvesting your personal details - every time you sign up for one of these appliance apps, you're handing over your real email address to yet another company. That's exactly why I built SecureAlias. Generate a unique email alias for every sign-up, keep your real address private, and cut the cord any time you want. If a dishwasher app insists on your email, at least make sure it's not your real one.